Setting: (John and Muscles are in the door way of a nightclub, standing next to the queue).
John: JESUS! You’re massive! Are you almost seven foot!?
Muscles: Aye, they call me Muscles Magroh. Im here to show you the ropes of being a bouncer!
Round here I own this joint! And I say who gets in and who dusney!
(Turns to line)
Right, YOU, YOU’RE NAW GETTING IN HERE WEh THAT HAT!
“Man with hat”: BUT… I’M NAW WEARING A HAT!
Muscles: Don’t give me that bollix! (“Man with hat legs it”).
Right you go John!
John: Excuse me please leave……………I don’t like your…..shoe laces.
Muscles: NAW SON! You’ve got to be firm! Try on me!
John: Right get out of here you! Weh your bad breath and your stupid moustache! A dog woodny look at you twice!
Muscles: Right, get out of here! You’re taking too far! I’m gonna rip off your head and shit down your neck!
(Muscles phone starts ringing with Abba - Dancing Queen)
(High pitched voice )
OH HI MUMSY!
(They have a big poofy chat for about 5 mins and hangs up)
John: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! MUMSY!!!
- Sponge
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