an advertisment

For all you keen walkers across the land, love country hikes but fed up can't be bothered with life.
Enjoy rambling but can no longer see the point then this is the very thing for you a complete book of

Great walks near the motorway, the book includes a full report of the most dangerous walks going and the ten best motorway walks the one most popularly voted by the audience of the book starts with a slow stroll down the M1 then onto a meander in the fast lane of the M6 then ends with a six a slow jog around the m25 enjoy!

Books in the toilet

Recently went round to a friends house for a couple of beer and i said can i use toilet "upstairs second on the right" he says and i went up and into the toilet and from the corner of my eye noticed a stack of six books, have you ever found yourself on the toilet so long you needed to read something like you couldn't wait 5 minutes. Then i thought maybe he is quite forget full because can u imagine going into the toilet without war and peace, if you have such a bad bladder problem that you find you need a book in the toilet i would suggest a bowl transplant rather than pride and prejudice.

When i questioned him about it he said "well i know it's daft but i tend only to read a book of conundrums when I'm on the toilet now i find them allot easy funny that eh?" funny no i think it's a scientific breakthrough your mind power is sharper on the crapper, then i thought hold on if it's that good why haven't they tried this on university challenge. "what was the name of napoleon's wife" "could you excuse me for a sec" 5 minutes later "is it josephenine" "correct 10 points"

present

about a week ago went to get a present for my girlfriend engraved and what a hassle that was, so i walk into this shop and say to the guy afternoon looking to get this bracelet engraved and i wanted the date we got together on it. and he took it of me looked at it and said ill only be able to £12 work on that, 12 quid for 6 no.s. so i said OK how long this gonna take he said about 10 minutes thought that was Gd, then he goes so you want the date on the bracelet, no i was wondering if you would scratch the date we got together into my forehead. surprise

door to door sales

When i say to Door to Door sales you don't think i mean literary do you!

Door to door sales don't you hate that trying to have a romantic evening and you here knock knock knock, and i ignore it and he knocks again , so i go open the door there's a guy with a front door in his arms. "Hi I'm from doors doors doors limited can i interest you in a door" and i say well i appear to already have one. but he carries on asking he's a persist ant little fuck, bear in mind he has been carrying round a door for 6 hours. he was actually carrying a door as if i didn't know what one looked liked, he could have brought a brochure but oh no here's a door in case you weren't exactly shure on the size. When i said no thank you and tried to shut the door he gets his foot in saying come on I'll make you a good deal.

Any way he left his business card and left after trying to sell me a door for the past 35 minutes,
However he came over and over and over again. So i checked the business card for a no. and phoned them up to complain like, and when the phone was answered i said "hello" a young girl cut in who had a stutter and said h-hello d-d-doors d-d-doors l-limited h-how can i h-help.

welcome back

i'm rubber ducky and has sponge has already pointed out i'm rubber duck i'm now back on blogger after a prolonged brake and just wanted say i'm back