The Local Sponge july edition

Welcome and your reading the first edition of The Local Sponge News. This is paper to end all papers, you'll never want to read a real newspaper again. This paper killed the pope from over-excitement.

Enjoy!

BIG BEN GETS SCREWED

Big Ben did not chime this morning as the man who runs it forgot his watch.

Today...

SANTA, REALLY?

In other news yestrday at 7pm ITV1 broadcasted a programme called "Santa, Really?". This programme posed the question "Was Santa Real?" and that it was time for children to grow up. I myself am utterly outraged and as usual ITV are talking pish further more many children are now depressed, many refuse to get out of bed and others have been reported to slit there wrists with stickle-bricks. Signs of depression involve toddlers trying to cook patrs of there body in there easy-cook ovens, My very own cousin now can't even bear to watch CBeebies, Rubber Duck and I were amazed at this but she just can't even see the point in this. In reaction to the Programme "Santa, Really?" We will be broadcasting our own programme "Trevor McDonald, Really?"

A joint effort by - Rubber duck and Sponge